Five days into fatherhood and I’m in a different world. So much is the same, though everything has changed.
A million thoughts are running through my head at this point, making it nearly impossible to write anything. Who are you? Who am I? Who will you be? Will I be enough for you? Where did you get those beautiful eyes? How can someone so small create so much poop?
Questions and thoughts come and go staying only briefly, giving me just enough time to ponder the myriad of possible answers before they vanish without a trace. Will we be there to the best of our abilities? Of course. Will we love you no matter what? Of course.
Of course, it’s easy to say that now. Of course we’ll try. Of course we’ll do our best. Will we make mistakes with you along the way? Of course. But we will persevere together. You’ll always be as perfect as you are right now. It’ll be our job to make sure the rest of the world gets a chance to share in our admiration of that beauty.
Anyone who knows me probably knows that I’ve dabbled in a variety of art mediums over the years (photography being my latest outlet) in search of truth and wonderment, but there are a few simple things that I aspire for my art to convey: beauty, inspiration, innocence, hope, fragility, purity, etc. And now? Maybe I’ve achieved that lofty goal that has long eluded me. If I am never able to create another piece of art for the rest of my days, I can rest contently knowing that I have accomplished more than enough.
Certainly, this is creation in its purest form. Welcome to the world, my little Smudge.